Monday, October 12, 2009

This Week's Awful Pop Songs

So in order to mix things up a little bit, I'm trying to start a new feature on this blog where I discuss the horrible pop songs that I've heard recently. I admit that listening to top 40 radio is sort of a car-crash guilty pleasure of mine-- kind of like a car crash, you know it's horrible and awful but you just can't look away. So is my view on top 40 radio. With that in mind, here are the awful pop songs for this week:

1. "Fireflies" by Owl City

This song might be the most insipid tune I've ever heard. I can't even listen to the lyrics without cringing. "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs"?!? Seriously? It seems to me like this guy should be getting a thousand hugs from 10,000 grizzly bears. That might make for a more interesting song.

2. Paparazzi- Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga is back on the scene, months after her ill-fated song about a poker face, where she revealed her blatant lack of knowledge on the difference between poker, roulette, blackjack, and other games of chance. Now, she's singing about how she's going to "chase you down until you love me." See, this is what's wrong with Hollywood. If I wrote a song to Lady Gaga about how I was going to relentlessly pursue her until she caved in to my desires, I'd probably be slapped with a restraining order. Lady Gaga does it and it hits the Billboard charts. It's almost as creepy as the Enrique Iglesias song a few years ago where he told us that "you can run you can hide but you can't escape my love." Maybe he and Lady Gaga will start dating and end up killing each other in a fit of crazed passion.

3. Party in the USA- Miley Cyrus

This song sounds like what I imagine to be the product of a bunch of middle-aged white guys in suits sitting around a conference room trying to decide what teenagers respond to these days. It feels so incredibly manufactured that I'm not even sure I can chastise Miley Cyrus for putting it out. I mean, if a bunch of suits handed me an insipid pop song and said "we'll give you millions of dollars to put your name on this," I'm not entirely certain I would say no either. Besides, this sort of bubblegum pap will be that much more enjoyable to look back on when Miley Cyrus begins her inevitable Britney Spears-like crash and burn.

EDIT: Ok, I just watched the video that I posted to go with the Miley Cyrus song. Holy crap, does anyone else have a problem with the oversexualization of a 16 year old? I mean, she's singing about dancing in a taxi cab and it's like watching a bachelor party. I have a real problem with this.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bleach my brain to try and wash this stuff out. Tune in next week for more awful pop music!

1 comment:

William King said...

That Miley Cyrus song was terrible on so, so many levels. 16 years old? Where's Nabokov when you need him?