Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga seems to be a regular feature on the bad pop music radar, mostly because her music is terrible. This song, however, is her worst yet (that I've heard). In addition to the insanely annoying nonsense words at the beginning of the song, it's a generally unintelligible mess of predictable rhythms, mindless lyrics, and of course a ridiculous video that has nothing to do with the song. In the great American musical tradition, I expect it to hit number one.
Sweet Dreams by Beyonce
Beyonce is kind of like the "golden boy" of bad pop music. Starting with Destiny's Child, she's been pumping out sub-par generic pop crap since the late 90s. Somehow, she's managed to make it to the top and stay there, despite the fact that her music is not good. I'm not saying it's not catchy or that she's not talented, but rather that the music she puts out is continually uninspired and derivative. In the latest installment of trite pop sap, she ponders whether or not the dream she's living is a "sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare." I've got news for you, Beyonce: you're obscenely rich, naturally gifted with looks and talent, and have the American public at your fingertips. If you can't decide whether that's a sweet dream or a nightmare, you should be thankful that you were gifted with looks and talent, since brains clearly isn't your strong suit. Keep trying, Beyonce; eventually you'll figure out whether or not your life of luxury is a sweet dream or a nightmare. (side note: this is not the official video for the song, I just didn't want to sift through youtube to find a version that could be embedded.)
Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare? Don't ask Beyonce; she has trouble with these things.
Tik Tok by Ke$ha
This song is like the musical equivalent of aggravated assault. I couldn't even finish it without turning it off and lamenting the state of American culture as we know it. The fact that this was ever produced- let alone listened to and enjoyed- is a sad commentary on our society. I don't even need to go into why this song is bad; listen to about 10 seconds of it and you'll see for yourself. Also, anyone who spells their name with a dollar sign is an idiot, no exceptions.
I want to cry for humanity.