Friday, January 8, 2010

Cause of Death Odds

With all the talk about health care we've been hearing lately, I've recently been thinking about how likely it is that I'll die one day (currently: 55% likely), and how it will happen if/when it happens. For those of you with gambling addictions, I've calculated some of the following odds to assist you:

Choking on some sort of buffalo chicken product: 8 to 1

Heart Disease: 4 to 1

Babboon Heart Disease: 4.5 to 1

Electric Blanket Mishap: 5 to 3

Brain hemmorage after being punched in the face for running my mouth: 3 to 2

Stabbed by dissatisfied client: 3 to 1

Stabbed by satisfied client: 3 to 1

Insurance Scam/Fight Club/Drug Deal Gone Awry: 5 to 1

Practice Court & accompanying coping mechanisms: 2 to 1

Bear F***s my S*** up: 10 to 1

Crushed Under A Pile Of Cash: 200 to 1

Lethal Injection: 721 to 1

Local Election: 26 to 1

Tickle Fight: 38 to 1

Broken Heart: 25 to 1

Bacon Heart: 15 to 1

Lucky 7's, gamblers!

1 comment:

Justin T. said...

By the time the hordes of undead get here I will have been living in the woods for a long time.