Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Surprise, surprise, the Catholic Church is wrong again

I'm no fan of the Catholic Church. Their vast conspiracy to cover up the systemic child rape by Catholic priests over the last 30 years makes them among the most reprehensible organizations of which I am aware, and they have no credibility in my eyes. So it should come as no surprise that they're once again spouting off ridiculous bullshit that has no basis in fact. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, the same organization that once tortured people in the name of The Lord has now made the ridiculous claim that Homer Simpson is, in fact, a Catholic.

"Speaking of fictional characters you guys make claims about..."

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a deep and abiding love for The Simpsons that can't quite be explained or quantified. And as such, I don't like it when organizations I despise go around disparaging my favorite tv family by making spurious claims based on lack of research and faulty logic. Once again, the Catholic Church seems to be talking out of its collective ass, because any true fan of the Simpsons can tell you that Homer Simpson is pretty much the exact opposite of a Catholic. In The Sweetest Apu, for instance, he claims to be Hindu, and in The Simpsons Movie, he says, "Relax, those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony-baloney god," (when entering the First Church of Springfield, which is of course a member of the Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism, the "one true religion"). That seems to indicate that he's an atheist. He's also been a Movementarian, even moving his family to their work compound for a brief period of time. And let's not forget the plethora of quotes Homer has made about religion:

  • "You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life.....Christianity."- upon being asked what religion he practices.
    "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such." (emphasis mine)
  • "You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like God."
  • ""I'm gonna die! Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!"
  • "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"
  • "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
Sounds like a Catholic to me. Of course, the Vatican is basing its decision primarily on the 350th episode, The Father, The Son, and the Holy Guest Star, in which Bart considers converting to Catholicism after meeting a "cool" priest (played by Liam Neeson), and Homer quickly jumps on board. Except, of course, that neither Bart nor Homer actually ends up joining the Catholic Church at the end. But, this minor detail doesn't stop the Catholic Church from declaring the exact opposite, contrary to the information that's available. 

But coming from an organization with so little credibility as the Catholic Church, is anyone really surprised that they just make shit up?

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Perhaps they think Homer can be their Joe Camel, helping them lure in unsuspecting children. Though I'm sure they'll claim the target age group is in the adult range. Liar liar pants on fire. Oh wait...it's not Catholic pants that are burning, it's the heretics they're burning at the stake.