Sunday, January 1, 2012

These Are Some Big Freaking Hogs

I am not one to be a conspiracy theorist, but something is going on in the deep recesses of West Texas. Knox County, Texas, birthplace of Rick Perry, is producing some monster wild hogs right now. Recently I compiled a series of game camera photos captured on my dad's property in Knox County, and the results are terrifying. Always carry a pistol, people.

P.S. I apologize to anyone who got here by googling "big black hogs" or "giant hogs" or "hogs gone wild" looking for something else. I hope these images satisfy a different kind of curiosity for you.

Ok so these are some relatively normal sized wild hogs. They are everywhere in west Texas

Ok, relatively normal sized, there are only 8 of you in this picture, I guess I can deal with that.
Ok now there are 19 of you in this picture. That I am not ok with. Cut that shit out you guys, seriously.

Here a regular size hog is seen not giving a fuck about a raccoon with laser eyes. They are assholes like that.
This regular sized wild hog says "'sup brah?," one of the most annoying of all wild hog utterances.
Pigs are getting a little bigger out there I've noticed..
Alright, they are definitely getting bigger. Someone either fed them after midnight or got them wet.
Ok, so now there are two of you. I get it. You're getting bigger, stronger. Like velociraptors who shit everywhere.
This pig's dirt-encrusted coat shows me that he has done some most un-Christian things in the mud.
Thankfully only one giant light brown hog here.
Here we see an example of a recent Hog Mitosis. That's also the name of a new series on Discovery Channel. Hog Mitosis, it's side-splittin' fun y'all!
Hogs are the only animal known whose skull is able to change within a lifetime to adapt to a feral lifestyle after release from domestication. That is not a joke, just a horrifying fact about these hell-beasts.

Now just remember that normally this scene is taking place in pitch blackness.
This one looks huge and not at all pregnant.
Here is a deer for a size comparison of the next hog.
Deer feeder? Fuck you bitch it's a hog feeder now. Deal with it. Hog OUT.

 Like I said, always carry a pistol, and in a worse case scenario, as you can see, remember to always save one last bullet. Happy New Year!

1 comment:

Diann said...

these monster hogs are all over Texas....even good ole Lamar County. Scare stuff. I think it is a communist plot.